Wednesday, January 6, 2010

What a week - *Warning -some rough language

As some of you have been enjoying the New Year I have been busy fighting the devil!
Not the real one...the tobacco one....on January 2nd I quit smoking!

I know some of you are thinking...good for you but I don't know what I was thinking???
Did I really believe this would be easy.....easier then it has been.

I can tell you what I was thinking...I figured it was time to make some changes in my life...it was time to grab the bull by the horns and make some important changes.
I have been thinking about quitting smoking for a while...that and losing some weight ( I'd be happy with 10 kgs, ecstatic with 15 and over the top with 20 but I have to be realistic...10 would be good).
I figured if I want to lose weight I better quit smoking first since we all know I will gain weight when I quit smoking and it is no use going on a diet and then gaining weight later...that would be to much torture.
So being the smart woman I am (at least I was a smart woman till I came up with this idea) I figured I would quit smoking first (gain the weight that is inevitable) and then go on a diet.
I can only fight one devil at a time but I never knew this devil was such a dickens!

I can tell you this tobacco devil is reeeeeeeeeeally bad !
I didn't realize how addicted i was. (OK, I knew but didn't want to admit it to myself)
I have had a week form HELL!
This has been the hardest thing I have ever done!

I have been hiding from the world for the last week since I was afraid I would turn into a "Psycho-woman" ...if you have ever quit smoking you know what I mean!

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster...one minute I could kick the dog, stab my Hubby and throw the computer out the window....the next minute I singing Christmas songs like nothing is wrong.

During one of my tantrums my hubby asked me if I needed an Exorcist...he wasn't being funny...he was serious! (this should tell you how crazy I have been)

I knew quitting would be hard but I didn't think this hard!
The first few days I tried the "Patch" but it seems that it doesn't agree with me..I was having constant headaches, feeling tired, nausea and just plain like shit!
Now I am trying the "gum"....it seems to help a bit but I feel like a cow when I go into a mad chewing fit.

I know I just have to tough it out but that is easier said then done!
Non-smokers will be thinking...what's the fuss...just quit!
Smokers will understand my pain and my desire for a cigarette!
Ex-smokers will remember the torture they went through and will send their sympathy.
All I know is that this is one rough journey. I sure hope it is over soon!

I really would like to know how people just quit smoking one day and have no problems ??
Am I weak ??
Am I a nicotine junkie??
How the heck do they do it ??

I have learned a couple things so far.....if you ever try to quit smoking.....
1- lock yourself in a rubber room for at least 10 days!
2- stay away from all friends & loved ones...if you want them to stay your friends & loved ones
3- do not go near any electrical equipment ...especially computers where you have to learn a new program, they may end up flying out the window
4-you are not crazy...it is the nicotine devil in you.

My battle goes ...I sure hope it gets easier ( so does my Hubby)???
Any help is appreciated or if someone has a rubber jacket they can spare..I can send you my addy !

Hugs,

10 comments:

  1. omg, Liz, you need some serious hugs here. I DO feel your pain. You are 100% right on about non-smokers not "getting" the habit.

    Here is my sad story and my experience. Ok, I am an ER nurse and I smoked!! (shut up you guys, I know!) A very serious smoker. 4 to 5 packs a day. I loved it! Camels, Marbs, anything name brand and HORSE KICKING STRONG! A doc I worked with asked my bff (who didn't start smoking until she was 30 something) if she wanted to try out a new drug for stopping. I told her I would...just to prove it didn't work. I bought the first months worth, equal to @ 3 cartons of smokes here in Texas at the time. It is not a nicotine product. I continued to smoke and laugh at the doc...until day 17. I got up, grabbed my coffee and smoke and headed outside, took 2 puffs and almost puked. I didn't WANT IT, so I stubbed it out and gave dh the 17 in the pack and a full pack of Marlboros and told him to "just hold for me until I ask for them please". That was @ 10 am. At @ 4 pm I asked for them back and he said he had burned them. Ok, whatever, when do you want dinner? Liz, I smoked from the age of 12 to 54, and have tried pills, patches, acupuncture (hurt like hell, what was I thinking?) and nothing worked. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know, side effects, withdrawals...nope. I have to say, it works, it really does. I even tried @ 3 weeks later to smoke after I had a "bad experience" and took one drag and almost puked. I have had to throw out a ton of fabrics that I cannot get the smoke smell out of. It took nearly a year of washing and scrubbing to get the smell out of my clothing, car, curtains, etc. I did not have withdrawals or bad experiences either. I did get nauseated but found if I took the pill, and then ate @ 1/2 hour later I was ok. After 17 days on the pill I did start getting headaches so I quit taking it the same day I quit smoking. That will be 3 years ago on the 17th of January. I love Chantix, it's truly a miracle drug. I have known people that didn't quit while on it I think because they didn't have enough guts to hand over the smokes to someone else. Don't go thru hell Liz if you don't have to. I wish I was there...I would lock you up in a hotel room for a month of Sundays, lol! Good luck and see if Chantix isn't available in Germany.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Almost forgot Liz...come over and sign up for my pathetic giveaway. I'll let you spew some dirty words if ya like! Hugs, Elaine the popsicle

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know what you are going thru but hang in there and dont be tempted to pick them up again. You can do it :) I gave up 4 1/2 yrs ago now and I loved smoking..absolutely loved it but every time I thought of having a smoke I told myself..No..they make me stink, they cost too much and they are not healthy for me..coughed my head off, and so I would then go off and do something so I was busy and not think of smoking. It took a while to finally get over wanting to have one but I did it. One thing that helped I think was the fact that I didnt smoke inside at all. Always outside..rain, hail or shine. I also told myself how stinky they would make my lovely knitted jumpers I got from my Mum and to wash them was a big job so that helped in giving the smokes up. Good luck and I hope you succeed..:) Hugs
    Vicki

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry that this is such a hard time for you! Since I never smoked I can't give you any advice! Just cheering for you and telling you that you can do it! I'm sure you will be happy when you are through with that torture! You have made it through quite some hard days already. Keep up!!! Call me and bitch about it if that helps!

    Hugs and love,
    Julia

    ReplyDelete
  5. I forgot to tell you that I love your new background :)!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Liz,
    I quit smoking 22 years ago after smoking 2 packages a day and never ever smoked again, so if I can do it, you can do it too!!!!!!
    Remember to drink a lot of water and orange juice, that really helps to clean your system.
    I keep my fingers crossed for you!
    Hugs, WILMA

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hang in there sis - you CAN DO IT !! i believe in you : )

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Liz, I'm an ex smoker, I had the chance to stop when I knew that I was pregnant the first time, so any problems as my mind went in another direction, after that Maurizio born, my husband's brother dead for a lung cancer (he was a great smoker) so my dh too stopped to smoke and that helped a lot. I'm sure you'll win your fight, it's very important believe me. Hugs Lorenza

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Liz... don't know how I missed this post. I'm sorry to say, I can't give you any advise, being a non-smoker myself. I did however, grow up around a family that smoked... my Mum smoked, quit, started again, then quit cold turkey... I believe that would be well over 30 or more years ago now... one of my sisters also smoked and she too quit cold turkey. I don't know what their mind set was at when they made the decision, however, I hope you can find the courage to hang in there and know that "YOU CAN DO IT"... mind over matter so to speak. Postive thoughts are headed your way. Hugs.

    P.S. you'll never believe the word verification I received on this post... it was "champ"... must be a sign.... Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Liz: What fantastic news, good for you to even try to quit!!!! That is the best thing you ever did for YOU!!! Just go "moment to moment" and remember you are doing the best thing you could ever do for yourself and your loved ones. I smoked too over 25 years ago and managed to stop and if I can do it, you can too. If you want to keep from gaining weight just start walking, after a few weeks it will be your habit and smoking will be a thing of the past. Stock up on lots of fresh fruit and veggies too. Here's a good thought too, get a big jar and every day put your cigarette money in it and watch it grow, then promise yourself to buy something you would really want with it. Gosh with the price of cigs now you could afford to come and visit me in 6 months, Yippee. Well maybe you could think of a better place to go LOL. So, I am going to be wishing you to be strong, for You, the most important person. Love Lola

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...